Hey Nov

Time flies & days, weeks & months have gone by. Pretty soon, it'll be Dec, my fav time of the year. Its a very beautiful month dec, all the nice songs, bright lights & and the feeling of Christmas approaching. Its simply overwhelming just to think about it. 

The place I went yesterday reminds me alot of Christmas. Just a little more tranquility and a little more mysterious. 

Am I expecting anything? I guess not. Looking back, I see where dreams, expectations & promises have brought me. Its not a very happy place. My past haunts me but I cannot help thinking. Just 'what if?'. I do not know where my bravery comes from.

Do I feel happy? I felt comfortable, at ease, at peace but I am too afraid to think if I am happy. I just let it be and basked in the moment. I am afraid because there's no hint and no indication. What if I am just overthinking it?  

I am contented at how it is for now. No expectations, no dreams, no promises and thus no dissapointments. Just truly enjoying every fleeting moment as it comes. Feeling very comfortable, confident & liberated. But yet, at times, I cannot help myself from curiously pondering & eagerly anticipating like a child.