Friday, October 16, 2015

Such Dark Times

"The words he said just keeps replaying in my head
Like a cruel horror flick; this replay I cannot tame
He wants to leave I see. And it is cruel for me to stay he says.
And so I allow him to leave & be free."

You only know how hurt you have been when you can no longer function at work or enjoy the hobbies you used to love. And so I go out to numb myself from all this pain. I meet friends, I work all day. I never stop and yet the pain goes on.... even in my dreams, I cried & shouted myself awake. I can only blame myself for all of these things going on right now. Only I can pull myself out of this and yet I am stuck in a dark place. Sometimes, I cannot find strength to wake up & do what i need to do. I wish I could sleep my pain away. 

I am going to lots of places. I am going to recover. I am going to hate him. I am going to forgive myself. I am going to carry on. I am going to survive. 

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